This in from National Catholic Reporter:
Sexual Ethics: Even on Catholic campuses, hookup sex prevails
By KRIS BERGGREN
Kris Berggren, a freelance writer, lives in Minneapolis.
http://ncronline3.org/drupal/?q=node/1072
...What Freitas discovered is that except for some evangelical colleges where a cult of purity exists, there is little difference between public, private and Catholic colleges and universities in the “hookup culture” that prevails on campus -- one in which students seek sexual experiences with a variety of partners outside of relationships.
Such casual sex is the norm at secular and Catholic institutions alike, even including “theme parties” where women dress up as sex objects, Freitas writes in her new book, Sex & the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance, and Religion on America’s College Campuses.
Freitas, a Catholic theologian and assistant professor of religion at Boston University, based her book on research involving students at seven colleges. Her research grew out of a class she taught on dating at St. Michael’s College in Burlington, Vt., in which students opened up with her and with each other about their dissatisfaction with the predominant “hookup culture” on campus. It eventually led her and five research assistants to survey 2,500 students online, read 500 journals, and individually interview 111 students.
Erin Spranger, a sophomore at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minn., not included in Freitas’s study, has declined invitations to parties with sexual themes, which are typically hosted by male students off campus, she said.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Michael Barone on the economy - not so bad
Just in:
"The economic numbers are not so bad. A recession is defined as two quarters of contraction. But we haven't had one yet. The gross domestic product has grown, albeit only by 0.6 percent, in the last two quarters. As my U.S. News colleague James Pethokoukis blogged after the most recent numbers came in, "Dude, where's my recession?"
By any historic standard, our economic numbers are good, though possibly headed in a negative direction. April's unemployment was 5 percent -- a figure that once upon a time was considered full employment. The Consumer Price Index was up 3.9 percent, largely due to price rises in energy and food. "Core inflation" was 2.3 percent. Productivity was up 2.2 percent.
Those are numbers that would have been taken as a sign of very good times when I was growing up."
"The economic numbers are not so bad. A recession is defined as two quarters of contraction. But we haven't had one yet. The gross domestic product has grown, albeit only by 0.6 percent, in the last two quarters. As my U.S. News colleague James Pethokoukis blogged after the most recent numbers came in, "Dude, where's my recession?"
By any historic standard, our economic numbers are good, though possibly headed in a negative direction. April's unemployment was 5 percent -- a figure that once upon a time was considered full employment. The Consumer Price Index was up 3.9 percent, largely due to price rises in energy and food. "Core inflation" was 2.3 percent. Productivity was up 2.2 percent.
Those are numbers that would have been taken as a sign of very good times when I was growing up."
Friday, May 30, 2008
Liberal vs. Progressive
I think we say "progressive" because that sounds more upscale than liberal. Liberal sounds like an epithet you hurl at someone. But we all say liberal among friends.
So if you're a conservative attending one of our parties, bite your tongue and say progressive. We will love you for it.
So if you're a conservative attending one of our parties, bite your tongue and say progressive. We will love you for it.
League of Democracies
So McCain wants to recreate the UN in the image and likeness of America. A dumb idea, since being a democracy (aka Turkey, Iraq, France) is no guarantee of sanity.
But a very interesting campaign move. I wonder what else he has planned for the summer! He's certainly had enough time to plan.
But a very interesting campaign move. I wonder what else he has planned for the summer! He's certainly had enough time to plan.
Disinvited
A college classmate of mine had been inviting me to speak at his high school social studies class on current events. He had invited me to come in to speak to the conservative perspective. I suppose he thought I was conservative because I was pro-life.
Anyhow, I'd done this for a few years, ironically, every January during the week of the 22nd. Last year, I decided to bring in pictures of fetal life from LIFE Magazine. I wasn't invited back this year.
The teachers and staff of the school are undoubtedly fellow liberals. But do liberals eat their own?
Anyhow, I'd done this for a few years, ironically, every January during the week of the 22nd. Last year, I decided to bring in pictures of fetal life from LIFE Magazine. I wasn't invited back this year.
The teachers and staff of the school are undoubtedly fellow liberals. But do liberals eat their own?
DHS wants behavior detection in airports
This just in...
JERUSALEM, May 29 (Reuters) - U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said on Thursday he will seek to adopt novel Israeli methods, like behaviour-detection technologies, to better secure America's airports.
"That's a scenario where Israel has a lot of experience," Chertoff said in an interview with Reuters. "I think that it is of interest to us to see if there is any adaptation there."
Chertoff, at a conference in Jerusalem for public and homeland security ministers from around the world, signed an agreement with Israel to share technology and information on methods to improve homeland security.
One of the new systems presented at the conference, developed by the Israeli technology company WeCU, uses behavioural science, together with biometric sensors, to detect sinister intentions among travellers.
OTHER SOURCES:
According to the company's founders, in under a minute it can screen an individual, without his or her knowledge or cooperation and without interfering with routine activities, and disclose intentions to carry out criminal or terror activity. It can identify subjects who are not carrying any suspicious objects, do not demonstrate any suspicious behavior, do not fit into a predefined social or other profile and do not arouse any suspicion.
Unlike systems currently in use, such as polygraphs or biometric systems based on identifying an individual under emotional pressure, WeCU does not attempt to determine whether the subject is lying, concealing information, under stress or feeling guilty. Instead, it seeks to identify concealed intentions by uncovering an associative connection between the subjects and defined threats.
How does it work? Givon explains: "The technology is patented. We take advantage of human characteristics, according to which when a person intends to carry out a particular activity or has a great acquaintance or involvement with a particular activity, he carries with him information and feelings that are associated with the subject or activity. In effect, his brain creates a collection of associations that are relevant to the subject.
"When this person is exposed to stimuli targeted at these associations - such as a picture of a partner to the activity, items from the scene of a crime that he carried out, the symbol of the organization in whose name he is acting or a code word - he will respond emotionally and cognitively to these stimuli. The response is expressed with a number of very subtle physiological and behavioral changes during the exposure to the stimulus," Givon said.
The system consists of three components: Hidden biometric sensors that measure the subject remotely or during random contact; a system that displays the stimuli; and a computerized data analysis and decision-making system that operates in real time.
The developers say that mass production of the system is expected within two and a half years. Each unit is expected to cost tens of thousands of dollars.
COMMENT: This is cool, but creepy.
JERUSALEM, May 29 (Reuters) - U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said on Thursday he will seek to adopt novel Israeli methods, like behaviour-detection technologies, to better secure America's airports.
"That's a scenario where Israel has a lot of experience," Chertoff said in an interview with Reuters. "I think that it is of interest to us to see if there is any adaptation there."
Chertoff, at a conference in Jerusalem for public and homeland security ministers from around the world, signed an agreement with Israel to share technology and information on methods to improve homeland security.
One of the new systems presented at the conference, developed by the Israeli technology company WeCU, uses behavioural science, together with biometric sensors, to detect sinister intentions among travellers.
OTHER SOURCES:
According to the company's founders, in under a minute it can screen an individual, without his or her knowledge or cooperation and without interfering with routine activities, and disclose intentions to carry out criminal or terror activity. It can identify subjects who are not carrying any suspicious objects, do not demonstrate any suspicious behavior, do not fit into a predefined social or other profile and do not arouse any suspicion.
Unlike systems currently in use, such as polygraphs or biometric systems based on identifying an individual under emotional pressure, WeCU does not attempt to determine whether the subject is lying, concealing information, under stress or feeling guilty. Instead, it seeks to identify concealed intentions by uncovering an associative connection between the subjects and defined threats.
How does it work? Givon explains: "The technology is patented. We take advantage of human characteristics, according to which when a person intends to carry out a particular activity or has a great acquaintance or involvement with a particular activity, he carries with him information and feelings that are associated with the subject or activity. In effect, his brain creates a collection of associations that are relevant to the subject.
"When this person is exposed to stimuli targeted at these associations - such as a picture of a partner to the activity, items from the scene of a crime that he carried out, the symbol of the organization in whose name he is acting or a code word - he will respond emotionally and cognitively to these stimuli. The response is expressed with a number of very subtle physiological and behavioral changes during the exposure to the stimulus," Givon said.
The system consists of three components: Hidden biometric sensors that measure the subject remotely or during random contact; a system that displays the stimuli; and a computerized data analysis and decision-making system that operates in real time.
The developers say that mass production of the system is expected within two and a half years. Each unit is expected to cost tens of thousands of dollars.
COMMENT: This is cool, but creepy.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Economy growing 0.9%
The economy has defied all of the nay-saying journalists who have been hovering like vultures waiting for their big story to break. Yet growth continues.
When the baby boomers start retiring en masse over the next two years, though, run for the hills. They will clamp down on spending for a decade, like Japan's lost decade.
Sell your gold now! Get out of stocks into short-term bonds.
When the baby boomers start retiring en masse over the next two years, though, run for the hills. They will clamp down on spending for a decade, like Japan's lost decade.
Sell your gold now! Get out of stocks into short-term bonds.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Proportionate reasons
This is the only thing that continues to keep me from calling myself a Democrat, despite the many errors of the Republicans: where is the proportionate reason to vote for a pro-choice candidate?
Would that an honest liberal wing of the party emerge.
Would that an honest liberal wing of the party emerge.
Monday, May 19, 2008
2008 election prognostication
Here's my guess at the moment:
November 2008: Obama sweeps all but 5 states. The Democrats control Congress by a wide margin.
2009: The economy is in recession with high inflation. Obama accelerates the withdrawal from Iraq. This strengthens the dollar and eases inflation.
2010: Obama appoints a Supreme Court Justice. He introduces nationalized medicine. This mobilizes the consevative base of the Republicans, who win back seats in the mid-term elections.
November 2008: Obama sweeps all but 5 states. The Democrats control Congress by a wide margin.
2009: The economy is in recession with high inflation. Obama accelerates the withdrawal from Iraq. This strengthens the dollar and eases inflation.
2010: Obama appoints a Supreme Court Justice. He introduces nationalized medicine. This mobilizes the consevative base of the Republicans, who win back seats in the mid-term elections.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Economic outlook
Had a nice talk around the fire last night with among others an institutional investor. He sees double-digit inflation ahead because of the weak dollar and commodity bubble. Here's an analysis from Morgan Stanley that sees three years of slower economic activity ahead.
How long and how deep will the current US recession be? How does the Fed’s monetary policy response compare to previous comparable episodes, and what has typically happened to inflation during such periods? While history never repeats itself, it often rhymes. That’s why we examine not only the past four US recessions (1975, 1981, 1990 and 2001) but also five big bank-centred financial crises that occurred in other countries during the past 30 years (Spain 1977, Norway 1987, Finland 1991, Sweden 1991 and Japan 1992) to help answer the questions above. We find some striking empirical similarities between the average US recession and the average of the five major banking and financial crises, but also some important differences. Whether this US recession will be more akin to the last few on its shores or to the Big Five foreign crises holds the key for risky asset prices. In either case, there is likely to be more pain ahead across the board.
The Big Five and the Last Four. Our selection of the five big foreign banking and financial crises is based on the analysis in a recent paper by Reinhart and Rogoff (see Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff’s Is the 2007 Sub-Prime Financial Crisis so Different? An International Historical Comparison, NBER Working Paper 13761, January 2008). Their Big Five crises are all protracted large-scale financial crises that were associated with major declines in economic performance for an extended period in the respective countries. All of them left deep marks, with the Japanese ‘lost decade’ being the worst of the five. Our rationale for using the Big Five as a benchmark for comparison in addition to the past four US recessions is that, like the current US crisis, the Big Five financial crises were all preceded by a significant run-up in house prices, followed by a significant decline. Reinhart and Rogoff also show that the run-up in US house prices prior to the current recession was even larger than in the average Big Five crisis.
The average recession during the Big Five crises lasted two years, while the Last Four US recessions on average lasted only about half that time. The typical Big Five recession was much deeper than the average US recession.
How long and how deep will the current US recession be? How does the Fed’s monetary policy response compare to previous comparable episodes, and what has typically happened to inflation during such periods? While history never repeats itself, it often rhymes. That’s why we examine not only the past four US recessions (1975, 1981, 1990 and 2001) but also five big bank-centred financial crises that occurred in other countries during the past 30 years (Spain 1977, Norway 1987, Finland 1991, Sweden 1991 and Japan 1992) to help answer the questions above. We find some striking empirical similarities between the average US recession and the average of the five major banking and financial crises, but also some important differences. Whether this US recession will be more akin to the last few on its shores or to the Big Five foreign crises holds the key for risky asset prices. In either case, there is likely to be more pain ahead across the board.
The Big Five and the Last Four. Our selection of the five big foreign banking and financial crises is based on the analysis in a recent paper by Reinhart and Rogoff (see Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff’s Is the 2007 Sub-Prime Financial Crisis so Different? An International Historical Comparison, NBER Working Paper 13761, January 2008). Their Big Five crises are all protracted large-scale financial crises that were associated with major declines in economic performance for an extended period in the respective countries. All of them left deep marks, with the Japanese ‘lost decade’ being the worst of the five. Our rationale for using the Big Five as a benchmark for comparison in addition to the past four US recessions is that, like the current US crisis, the Big Five financial crises were all preceded by a significant run-up in house prices, followed by a significant decline. Reinhart and Rogoff also show that the run-up in US house prices prior to the current recession was even larger than in the average Big Five crisis.
The average recession during the Big Five crises lasted two years, while the Last Four US recessions on average lasted only about half that time. The typical Big Five recession was much deeper than the average US recession.
Prince Caspian
I saw this with girls 10 and older, and I'd say it's OK down to age 8 -- nothing gratuitously violent or scary, although there is a big battle scene. The special effects were amazing -- particularly the "water God". My favorite scene was the battle to the death between Peter and the evil king-usurper. I still liked Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe better for its richer Christian symbolism.
Expelled
We went to see Expelled. I was happy Ben Stein made this movie. He did a good job but not a great job. He only found three people who were persecuted for the Intelligent Design views, which doesn't exactly make a strong case that something is happening. And, he mixed in very serious material with very light material, the latter which undercut the credibility of the former.
But the most damning moments for the Darwinists came when two of their leading protagonists, in interviews for the film, could not explain how life began. I think they both said aliens brought life to earth.
But the most damning moments for the Darwinists came when two of their leading protagonists, in interviews for the film, could not explain how life began. I think they both said aliens brought life to earth.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Into the corporate belly
In two days I have the interview for the big corporate job. I'm going to give him five reasons he shouldn't hire me:
1. I don't need the job. I don't want to be CEO. I don't want to be general counsel. I don't want to hang around five years for vestment. I'm here to get a job done in 2 to 3 years and then turn a mature program over to a maintenance person.
2. I know this isn't a 9 to 5 job. But it'll be an 830 to 530 job for me. My family comes first. I have this now and there's no reason I see for giving it up. If you need a 24 x 7 guy then I'm not your man.
3. My base salary need isn't negotiable. It's what I'm currently making in my business. My revenues have actually gone up since I put that number on the application. And I'm going to be asking for more staff and 3 to 5 million to get this done. If you're under a mandate to hold costs, then you shouldn't hire me.
4. I don't think quick on my feet. So I'm not a pro at board meetings. I can't absorb information all at once and make split-decision comebacks. I need time to see how everything fits together. But, I'm excellent behind the scenes. If you need a showman, then I'm not your man.
5. You're on the red team, and I'm on the blue team. If you need someone to share your philosophical views in order to trust him, you shouldn't hire me. But I can tell you I would be unwaveringly loyal.
Why would I want to do this? Because it would fix my revenue stream at its current high rate, and it would be the biggest challenge of my career.
1. I don't need the job. I don't want to be CEO. I don't want to be general counsel. I don't want to hang around five years for vestment. I'm here to get a job done in 2 to 3 years and then turn a mature program over to a maintenance person.
2. I know this isn't a 9 to 5 job. But it'll be an 830 to 530 job for me. My family comes first. I have this now and there's no reason I see for giving it up. If you need a 24 x 7 guy then I'm not your man.
3. My base salary need isn't negotiable. It's what I'm currently making in my business. My revenues have actually gone up since I put that number on the application. And I'm going to be asking for more staff and 3 to 5 million to get this done. If you're under a mandate to hold costs, then you shouldn't hire me.
4. I don't think quick on my feet. So I'm not a pro at board meetings. I can't absorb information all at once and make split-decision comebacks. I need time to see how everything fits together. But, I'm excellent behind the scenes. If you need a showman, then I'm not your man.
5. You're on the red team, and I'm on the blue team. If you need someone to share your philosophical views in order to trust him, you shouldn't hire me. But I can tell you I would be unwaveringly loyal.
Why would I want to do this? Because it would fix my revenue stream at its current high rate, and it would be the biggest challenge of my career.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Why these video posts
What preceded today are clips I think resonate with my conservative friends. What follows are clips I think resonate with my fellow liberals.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Quotes from Sun Tzu's Art of War
All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved.
Thus, what is of supreme importance in war is to attack the enemy's strategy.
Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
A leader leads by example not by force.
Treat your men as you would your own beloved sons. And they will follow you into the deepest valley.
The general who advances without coveting fame and retreats without fearing disgrace, whose only thought is to protect his country and do good service for his sovereign, is the jewel of the kingdom.
Bestow rewards without respect to customary practice; publish orders without respect to precedent. Thus you may employ the entire army as you would one man.
If you know others and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know others but know yourself, you win one and lose one
The ultimate in disposing one's troops is to be without ascertainable shape. Then the most penetrating spies cannot pry in nor can the wise lay plans against you.
The best victory is when the opponent surrenders of its own accord before there are any actual hostilities... It is best to win without fighting.
What is essential in war is victory, not prolonged operations.
It is best to keep one’s own state intact; to crush the enemy’s state is only second best.
Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across.
Thus, what is of supreme importance in war is to attack the enemy's strategy.
Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
A leader leads by example not by force.
Treat your men as you would your own beloved sons. And they will follow you into the deepest valley.
The general who advances without coveting fame and retreats without fearing disgrace, whose only thought is to protect his country and do good service for his sovereign, is the jewel of the kingdom.
Bestow rewards without respect to customary practice; publish orders without respect to precedent. Thus you may employ the entire army as you would one man.
If you know others and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know others but know yourself, you win one and lose one
The ultimate in disposing one's troops is to be without ascertainable shape. Then the most penetrating spies cannot pry in nor can the wise lay plans against you.
The best victory is when the opponent surrenders of its own accord before there are any actual hostilities... It is best to win without fighting.
What is essential in war is victory, not prolonged operations.
It is best to keep one’s own state intact; to crush the enemy’s state is only second best.
Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across.
Friday, May 9, 2008
3 men, 2 business propositions, 1 goal
Fridays are my day for getting out of the office to take up lunch and meeting offers. I met three guys today: one 20ish new father early in his career, one highly successfully 40ish father of several, one late 40ish moderately successful, unknown family.
The new father and the late 40ish were both proposing ways to join our businesses. They both make sense. Up until now, these joint business ventures have been a mixed bag. They sound great up front, but it takes sustained energy to make it work. Energy is a scarce commodity.
I love being on my own to have these kind of meetings -- which all have the goal of moving these guys closer to the cross, through work and friendship.
I wouldn't be out on the town like this if I took the big corporate job.
The new father and the late 40ish were both proposing ways to join our businesses. They both make sense. Up until now, these joint business ventures have been a mixed bag. They sound great up front, but it takes sustained energy to make it work. Energy is a scarce commodity.
I love being on my own to have these kind of meetings -- which all have the goal of moving these guys closer to the cross, through work and friendship.
I wouldn't be out on the town like this if I took the big corporate job.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
75 things men need to do well
From Esquire:
May 5, 2008, 5:24 AM
The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master
Buzz up!A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by. People count on you to come through. That's why you need these, to start.
By Tom Chiarella
Leif Parsons
A Man Should Be Able To:
1. Give advice that matters in one sentence. I got run out of a job I liked once, and while it was happening, a guy stopped me in the hall. Smart guy, but prone to saying too much. I braced myself. I didn't want to hear it. I needed a white knight, and I knew it wasn't him. He just sighed and said: When nobody has your back, you gotta move your back. Then he walked away. Best advice I ever got. One sentence.
2. Tell if someone is lying. Everyone has his theory. Pick one, test it. Choose the tells that work for you. I like these: Liars change the subject quickly. Liars look up and to their right when they speak. Liars use fewer contractions. Liars will sometimes stare straight at you and employ a dead face. Liars never touch their chest or heart except self-consciously. Liars place objects between themselves and you during a conversation.
3. Take a photo. Fill the frame.
4. Score a baseball game. Scoring a game is an exercise in ciphering, creating a shorthand of your very own. In this way, it's a private language as much as a record of the game. The only given is the numbering of the positions and the use of the diamond to express each batter's progress around the bases. I black out the diamond when a run scores. I mark an RBI with a tally mark in the upper-right-hand corner. Each time you score a game, you pick up on new elements to track: pitch count, balls and strikes, foul balls. It doesn't matter that this information is available on the Internet in real time. Scoring a game is about bearing witness, expanding your own ability to observe.
5. Name a book that matters. The Catcher in the Rye does not matter. Not really. You gotta read.
6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible. One guy at your table knows where Cobain was born and who his high school English teacher was. Another guy can argue the elegant extended trope of Liquid Swords with GZA himself. This is how it should be. Music does not demand agreement. Rilo Kiley. Nina Simone. Whitesnake. Fugazi. Otis Redding. Whatever. Choose. Nobody likes a know-it-all, because 1) you can't know it all and 2) music offers distinct and private lessons. So pick one. Except Rilo Kiley. I heard they broke up.
Leif Parsons
7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill.
Buy The Way to Cook, by Julia Child. Try roasting. Braising. Broiling. Slow-cooking. Pan searing. Think ragouts, fricassees, stews. All of this will force you to understand the functionality of different cuts. In the end, grilling will be a choice rather than a chore, and your Weber will become a tool rather than a piece of weekend entertainment.
8. Not monopolize the conversation.
9. Write a letter.
So easy. So easily forgotten. A five-paragraph structure works pretty well: Tell why you're writing. Offer details. Ask questions. Give news. Add a specific memory or two. If your handwriting is terrible, type. Always close formally.
10. Buy a suit.
Avoid bargains. Know your likes, your dislikes, and what you need it for (work, funerals, court). Squeeze the fabric -- if it bounces back with little or no sign of wrinkling, that means it's good, sturdy material. And tug the buttons gently. If they feel loose or wobbly, that means they're probably coming off sooner rather than later. The jacket's shoulder pads are supposed to square with your shoulders; if they droop off or leave dents in the cloth, the jacket's too big. The jacket sleeves should never meet the wrist any lower than the base of the thumb -- if they do, ask to go down a size. Always get fitted.
11. Swim three different strokes. Doggie paddle doesn't count.
12. Show respect without being a suck-up. Respect the following, in this order: age, experience, record, reputation. Don't mention any of it.
13. Throw a punch. Close enough, but not too close. Swing with your shoulders, not your arm. Long punches rarely land squarely. So forget the roundhouse. You don't have a haymaker. Follow through; don't pop and pull back. The length you give the punch should come in the form of extension after the point of contact. Just remember, the bones in your hand are small and easy to break. You're better off striking hard with the heel of your palm. Or you could buy the guy a beer and talk it out.
14. Chop down a tree. Know your escape path. When the tree starts to fall, use it.
15. Calculate square footage. Width times length.
Leif Parsons
16. Tie a bow tie.
Step 1: Make a simple knot, allowing slightly more length (one to two inches) on the end of A.
Step 2: Lay A out of the way, fold B into the normal bow shape, and position it on the first knot you made.
Step 3: Drop A vertically over folded end B.
Step 4: Double back A on itself and position it over the knot so that the two folded ends make a cross.
Step 5: The hard part: Pass folded end A under and behind the left side (yours) of the knot and through the loop behind folded end B.
Step 6: Tighten the knot you have created, straightening, particularly in the center.
Leif Parsons
17. Make one drink, in large batches, very well.
When I interviewed for my first job, one of the senior guys had me to his house for a reception. He offered me a cigarette and pointed me to a bowl of whiskey sours, like I was Darrin Stephens and he was Larry Tate. I can still remember that first tight little swallow and my gratitude that I could go back for a refill without looking like a drunk. I came to admire the host over the next decade, but he never gave me the recipe. So I use this:
• For every 750-ml bottle of whiskey (use a decent bourbon or rye), add:
• 6 oz fresh-squeezed, strained lemon juice
• 6 oz simple syrup (mix superfine sugar and water in equal quantities)
To serve: Shake 3 oz per person with ice and strain into chilled cocktail glasses. Garnish with a cherry and an orange slice or, if you're really slick, a float of red wine. (Pour about 1/2 oz slowly into each glass over the back of a spoon; this is called a New York sour, and it's great.)
18. Speak a foreign language. Pas beaucoup. Mais faites un effort.
19. Approach a woman out of his league. Ever have a shoeshine from a guy you really admire? He works hard enough that he doesn't have to tell stupid jokes; he doesn't stare at your legs; he knows things you don't, but he doesn't talk about them every minute; he doesn't scrape or apologize for his status or his job or the way he is dressed; he does his job confidently and with a quiet relish. That stuff is wildly inviting. Act like that guy.
20. Sew a button.
21. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer.
Once, in our lifetime, much of Europe was approaching cultural and political irrelevance. Then they made like us and banded together into a union of confederated states. So you can always assume that they were simply copying the United States as they now push us to the verge of cultural and political irrelevance.
22. Give a woman an orgasm so that he doesn't have to ask after it.
Otherwise, ask after it.
23. Be loyal. You will fail at it. You have already. A man who does not know loyalty, from both ends, does not know men. Loyalty is not a matter of give-and-take: He did me a favor, therefore I owe him one. No. No. No. It is the recognition of a bond, the honoring of a shared history, the reemergence of the vows we make in the tight times. It doesn't mean complete agreement or invisible blood ties. It is a currency of selflessness, given without expectation and capable of the most stellar return.
24. Know his poison, without standing there, pondering like a dope. Brand, amount, style, fast, like so: Booker's, double, neat.
25. Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it.
Use a contractor's hammer. Swing hard and loose, like a tennis serve.
26. Cast a fishing rod without shrieking or sighing or otherwise admitting defeat.
27. Play gin with an old guy. Old men will try to crush you. They'll drown you in meaningless chatter, tell stories about when they were kids this or in Korea that. Or they'll retreat into a taciturn posture designed to get you to do the talking. They'll note your strategies without mentioning them, keep the stakes at a level they can control, and change up their pace of play just to get you stumbling. You have to do this -- play their game, be it dominoes or cribbage or chess. They may have been playing for decades. You take a beating as a means of absorbing the lessons they've learned without taking a lesson. But don't be afraid to take them down. They can handle it.
28. Play go fish with a kid.
You don't crush kids. You talk their ear off, make an event out of it, tell them stories about when you were a kid this or in Vegas that. You have to play their game, too, even though they may have been playing only for weeks. Observe. Teach them without once offering a lesson. And don't be afraid to win. They can handle it.
29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped.
Sometimes the laws of physics aren't laws at all. Read The Quantum World: Quantum Physics for Everyone, by Kenneth W. Ford.
30. Feign interest. Good place to start: quantum physics.
31. Make a bed.
32. Describe a glass of wine in one sentence without using the terms nutty, fruity, oaky, finish, or kick. I once stood in a wine store in West Hollywood where the owner described a pinot noir he favored as "a night walk through a wet garden." I bought it. I went to my hotel and drank it by myself, looking at the flickering city with my feet on the windowsill. I don't know which was more right, the wine or the vision that he placed in my head. Point is, it was right.
Leif Parsons
33. Hit a jump shot in pool. It's not something you use a lot, but when you hit a jump shot, it marks you as a player and briefly impresses women. Make the angle of your cue steeper, aim for the bottommost fraction of the ball, and drive the cue smoothly six inches past the contact point, making steady, downward contact with the felt.
34. Dress a wound. First, stop the bleeding. Apply pressure using a gauze pad. Stay with the pressure. If you can't stop the bleeding, forget the next step, just get to a hospital. Once the bleeding stops, clean the wound. Use water or saline solution; a little soap is good, too. If you can't get the wound clean, then forget the next step, just get to a hospital. Finally, dress the wound. For a laceration, push the edges together and apply a butterfly bandage. For avulsions, where the skin is punctured and pulled back like a trapdoor, push the skin back and use a butterfly. Slather the area in antibacterial ointment. Cover the wound with a gauze pad taped into place. Change that dressing every 12 hours, checking carefully for signs of infection. Better yet, get to a hospital.
Leif Parsons
35. Jump-start a car (without any drama). Change a flat tire (safely). Change the oil (once).
36. Make three different bets at a craps table. Play the smallest and most poorly labeled areas, the bets where it's visually evident the casino doesn't want you to go. Simply play the pass line; once the point is set, play full odds (this is the only really good bet on the table); and when you want a little more action, tell the crew you want to lay the 4 and the 10 for the minimum bet.
37. Shuffle a deck of cards.
I play cards with guys who can't shuffle, and they lose. Always.
38. Tell a joke. Here's one:
Two guys are walking down a dark alley when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then, one guy turns to the other, hands him a bill, and says, "Hey, here's that $20 I owe you."
39. Know when to split his cards in blackjack.
Aces. Eights. Always.
40. Speak to an eight-year-old so he will hear. Use his first name. Don't use baby talk. Don't crank up your energy to match his. Ask questions and wait for answers. Follow up. Don't pretend to be interested in Webkinz or Power Rangers or whatever. He's as bored with that shit as you are. Concentrate instead on seeing the child as a person of his own.
41. Speak to a waiter so he will hear.
You don't own the restaurant, so don't act like it. You own the transaction. So don't speak into the menu. Lift your chin. Make eye contact. All restaurants have secrets -- let it be known that you expect to see some of them.
42. Talk to a dog so it will hear.
Go ahead, use baby talk.
43. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help. Just turn off the damned main.
44. Ask for help.
Guys who refuse to ask for help are the most cursed men of all. The stubborn, the self-possessed, and the distant. The hell with them.
45. Break another man's grip on his wrist. Rotate your arm rapidly in the grip, toward the other guy's thumb.
46. Tell a woman's dress size.
47. Recite one poem from memory. Here you go:
WHEN YOU ARE OLD
When you are old and gray and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
--William Butler Yeats
48. Remove a stain. Blot. Always blot.
49. Say no.
50. Fry an egg sunny-side up. Cook until the white appears solid...and no longer.
Leif Parsons
51. Build a campfire.
There are three components:
1. The tinder -- bone-dry, snappable twigs, about as long as your hand. You need two complete handfuls. Try birch bark; it burns long and hot.
2. The kindling -- thick as your thumb, long as your forearm, breakable with two hands. You need two armfuls.
3. Fuel wood -- anything thick and long enough that it can't be broken by hand. It's okay if it's slightly damp. You need a knee-high stack.
Step 1: Light the tinder, turning the pile gently to get air underneath it.
Step 2: Feed the kindling into the emergent fire with some pace.
Step 3: Lay on the fuel wood. Pyramid, the log cabin, whatever -- the idea is to create some kind of structure so that plenty of air gets to the fire.
52. Step into a job no one wants to do. When I was 13, my dad called me into his office at the large urban mall he ran. He was on the phone. What followed was a fairly banal 15-minute conversation, which involved the collection of rent from a store. On and on, droning about store hours and lighting problems. I kept raising my eyebrows, pretending to stand up, and my dad kept waving me down. I could hear only his end, garrulous and unrelenting. He rolled his eyes as the excuses kept coming. His assertions were simple and to the point, like a drumbeat. He wanted the rent. He wanted the store to stay open when the mall was open. Then suddenly, having given the job the time it deserved, he put it to an end. "So if I see your gate down next Sunday afternoon, I'm going to get a drill and stick a goddamn bolt in it and lock you down for the next week, right?" When he hung up, rent collected, he took a deep breath. "I've been dreading that call," he said. "Once a week you gotta try something you never would do if you had the choice. Otherwise, why are you here?" So he gave me that. And this...
53. Sometimes, kick some ass.
54. Break up a fight. Work in pairs if possible. Don't get between people initially. Use the back of the collar, pull and urge the person downward. If you can't get him down, work for distance.
55. Point to the north at any time.
If you have a watch, you can point the hour hand at the sun. Then find the point directly between the hour hand and the 12. That's south. The opposite direction is, of course, north.
56. Create a play-list in which ten seemingly random songs provide a secret message to one person.
57. Explain what a light-year is. It's the measure of the distance that light travels over 365.25 days.
58. Avoid boredom. You have enough to eat. You can move. This must be acknowledged as a kind of freedom. You don't always have to buy things, put things in your mouth, or be delighted.
59. Write a thank-you note.
Make a habit of it. Follow a simple formula like this one: First line is a thesis statement. The second line is evidentiary. The third is a kind of assertion. Close on an uptick.
Thanks for having me over to watch game six. Even though they won, it's clear the Red Sox are a soulless, overmarketed contrivance of Fox TV. Still, I'm awfully happy you have that huge high-def television. Next time, I really will bring beer. Yours,
60. Be brand loyal to at least one product. It tells a lot about who you are and where you came from. Me? I like Hellman's mayonnaise and Genesee beer, which makes me the fleshy, stubbornly upstate ne'er-do-well that I will always be.
61. Cook bacon.
Lay out the bacon on a rack on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes.
Leif Parsons
62. Hold a baby.
Newborns should be wrapped tightly and held against the chest. They like tight spaces (consider their previous circumstances) and rhythmic movements, so hold them snug, tuck them in the crook of your elbow or against the skin of your neck. Rock your hips like you're bored, barely listening to the music at the edge of a wedding reception. No one has to notice except the baby. Don't breathe all over them.
63. Deliver a eulogy. Take the job seriously. It matters. Speak first to the family, then to the outside world. Write it down. Avoid similes. Don't read poetry. Be funny.
64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch. When I was a kid, because I'm Italian and because the Irish guys in my neighborhood were relentless with the beatings on St. Patrick's Day, I loved the very idea of Christopher Columbus. I loved the fact that Irish kids worshipped some gnome who drove all the rats out of Ireland or whatever, whereas my hero was an explorer. Man, I drank the Kool-Aid on that guy. Of course, I later learned that he was a hand-chopping, land-stealing egotist who sold out an entire hemisphere to European avarice. So I left Columbus behind. Your understanding of your heroes must evolve. See Roger Clemens. See Bill Belichick.
65-67. Throw a baseball over-hand with some snap. Throw a football with a tight spiral. Shoot a 12-foot jump shot reliably.
If you can't, play more ball.
68. Find his way out of the woods if lost. Note your landmarks -- mountains, power lines, the sound of a highway. Look for the sun: It sits in the south; it moves west. Gauge your direction every few minutes. If you're completely stuck, look for a small creek and follow it downstream. Water flows toward larger bodies of water, where people live.
69. Tie a knot.
Square knot: left rope over right rope, turn under. Then right rope over left rope. Tuck under. Pull. Or as my pack leader, Dave Kenyon, told me in a Boy Scouts meeting: "Left over right, right over left. What's so fucking hard about that?"
70. Shake hands. Steady, firm, pump, let go. Use the time to make eye contact, since that's where the social contract begins.
Leif Parsons
71. Iron a shirt. My uncle Tony the tailor once told me of ironing: Start rough, end gently.
72. Stock an emergency bag for the car.
Blanket. Heavy flashlight. Hand warmers. Six bottles of water. Six packs of beef jerky. Atlas. Reflectors. Gloves. Socks. Bandages. Neosporin. Inhaler. Benadryl. Motrin. Hard candy. Telescoping magnet. Screwdriver. Channel-locks. Crescent wrench. Ski hat. Bandanna.
73. Caress a woman's neck. Back of your fingers, in a slow fan.
74. Know some birds. If you can't pay attention to a bird, then you can't learn from detail, you aren't likely to appreciate the beauty of evolution, and you don't have a clue how birdlike your own habits may be. You've been looking at them blindly for years now. Get a guide.
75. Negotiate a better price. Be informed. Know the price of competitors. In a big store, look for a manager. Don't be an asshole. Use one phrase as your mantra, like "I need a little help with this one." Repeat it, as an invitation to him. Don't beg. Ever. Offer something: your loyalty, your next purchase, even your friendship, and, with the deal done, your gratitude.
May 5, 2008, 5:24 AM
The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master
Buzz up!A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by. People count on you to come through. That's why you need these, to start.
By Tom Chiarella
Leif Parsons
A Man Should Be Able To:
1. Give advice that matters in one sentence. I got run out of a job I liked once, and while it was happening, a guy stopped me in the hall. Smart guy, but prone to saying too much. I braced myself. I didn't want to hear it. I needed a white knight, and I knew it wasn't him. He just sighed and said: When nobody has your back, you gotta move your back. Then he walked away. Best advice I ever got. One sentence.
2. Tell if someone is lying. Everyone has his theory. Pick one, test it. Choose the tells that work for you. I like these: Liars change the subject quickly. Liars look up and to their right when they speak. Liars use fewer contractions. Liars will sometimes stare straight at you and employ a dead face. Liars never touch their chest or heart except self-consciously. Liars place objects between themselves and you during a conversation.
3. Take a photo. Fill the frame.
4. Score a baseball game. Scoring a game is an exercise in ciphering, creating a shorthand of your very own. In this way, it's a private language as much as a record of the game. The only given is the numbering of the positions and the use of the diamond to express each batter's progress around the bases. I black out the diamond when a run scores. I mark an RBI with a tally mark in the upper-right-hand corner. Each time you score a game, you pick up on new elements to track: pitch count, balls and strikes, foul balls. It doesn't matter that this information is available on the Internet in real time. Scoring a game is about bearing witness, expanding your own ability to observe.
5. Name a book that matters. The Catcher in the Rye does not matter. Not really. You gotta read.
6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible. One guy at your table knows where Cobain was born and who his high school English teacher was. Another guy can argue the elegant extended trope of Liquid Swords with GZA himself. This is how it should be. Music does not demand agreement. Rilo Kiley. Nina Simone. Whitesnake. Fugazi. Otis Redding. Whatever. Choose. Nobody likes a know-it-all, because 1) you can't know it all and 2) music offers distinct and private lessons. So pick one. Except Rilo Kiley. I heard they broke up.
Leif Parsons
7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill.
Buy The Way to Cook, by Julia Child. Try roasting. Braising. Broiling. Slow-cooking. Pan searing. Think ragouts, fricassees, stews. All of this will force you to understand the functionality of different cuts. In the end, grilling will be a choice rather than a chore, and your Weber will become a tool rather than a piece of weekend entertainment.
8. Not monopolize the conversation.
9. Write a letter.
So easy. So easily forgotten. A five-paragraph structure works pretty well: Tell why you're writing. Offer details. Ask questions. Give news. Add a specific memory or two. If your handwriting is terrible, type. Always close formally.
10. Buy a suit.
Avoid bargains. Know your likes, your dislikes, and what you need it for (work, funerals, court). Squeeze the fabric -- if it bounces back with little or no sign of wrinkling, that means it's good, sturdy material. And tug the buttons gently. If they feel loose or wobbly, that means they're probably coming off sooner rather than later. The jacket's shoulder pads are supposed to square with your shoulders; if they droop off or leave dents in the cloth, the jacket's too big. The jacket sleeves should never meet the wrist any lower than the base of the thumb -- if they do, ask to go down a size. Always get fitted.
11. Swim three different strokes. Doggie paddle doesn't count.
12. Show respect without being a suck-up. Respect the following, in this order: age, experience, record, reputation. Don't mention any of it.
13. Throw a punch. Close enough, but not too close. Swing with your shoulders, not your arm. Long punches rarely land squarely. So forget the roundhouse. You don't have a haymaker. Follow through; don't pop and pull back. The length you give the punch should come in the form of extension after the point of contact. Just remember, the bones in your hand are small and easy to break. You're better off striking hard with the heel of your palm. Or you could buy the guy a beer and talk it out.
14. Chop down a tree. Know your escape path. When the tree starts to fall, use it.
15. Calculate square footage. Width times length.
Leif Parsons
16. Tie a bow tie.
Step 1: Make a simple knot, allowing slightly more length (one to two inches) on the end of A.
Step 2: Lay A out of the way, fold B into the normal bow shape, and position it on the first knot you made.
Step 3: Drop A vertically over folded end B.
Step 4: Double back A on itself and position it over the knot so that the two folded ends make a cross.
Step 5: The hard part: Pass folded end A under and behind the left side (yours) of the knot and through the loop behind folded end B.
Step 6: Tighten the knot you have created, straightening, particularly in the center.
Leif Parsons
17. Make one drink, in large batches, very well.
When I interviewed for my first job, one of the senior guys had me to his house for a reception. He offered me a cigarette and pointed me to a bowl of whiskey sours, like I was Darrin Stephens and he was Larry Tate. I can still remember that first tight little swallow and my gratitude that I could go back for a refill without looking like a drunk. I came to admire the host over the next decade, but he never gave me the recipe. So I use this:
• For every 750-ml bottle of whiskey (use a decent bourbon or rye), add:
• 6 oz fresh-squeezed, strained lemon juice
• 6 oz simple syrup (mix superfine sugar and water in equal quantities)
To serve: Shake 3 oz per person with ice and strain into chilled cocktail glasses. Garnish with a cherry and an orange slice or, if you're really slick, a float of red wine. (Pour about 1/2 oz slowly into each glass over the back of a spoon; this is called a New York sour, and it's great.)
18. Speak a foreign language. Pas beaucoup. Mais faites un effort.
19. Approach a woman out of his league. Ever have a shoeshine from a guy you really admire? He works hard enough that he doesn't have to tell stupid jokes; he doesn't stare at your legs; he knows things you don't, but he doesn't talk about them every minute; he doesn't scrape or apologize for his status or his job or the way he is dressed; he does his job confidently and with a quiet relish. That stuff is wildly inviting. Act like that guy.
20. Sew a button.
21. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer.
Once, in our lifetime, much of Europe was approaching cultural and political irrelevance. Then they made like us and banded together into a union of confederated states. So you can always assume that they were simply copying the United States as they now push us to the verge of cultural and political irrelevance.
22. Give a woman an orgasm so that he doesn't have to ask after it.
Otherwise, ask after it.
23. Be loyal. You will fail at it. You have already. A man who does not know loyalty, from both ends, does not know men. Loyalty is not a matter of give-and-take: He did me a favor, therefore I owe him one. No. No. No. It is the recognition of a bond, the honoring of a shared history, the reemergence of the vows we make in the tight times. It doesn't mean complete agreement or invisible blood ties. It is a currency of selflessness, given without expectation and capable of the most stellar return.
24. Know his poison, without standing there, pondering like a dope. Brand, amount, style, fast, like so: Booker's, double, neat.
25. Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it.
Use a contractor's hammer. Swing hard and loose, like a tennis serve.
26. Cast a fishing rod without shrieking or sighing or otherwise admitting defeat.
27. Play gin with an old guy. Old men will try to crush you. They'll drown you in meaningless chatter, tell stories about when they were kids this or in Korea that. Or they'll retreat into a taciturn posture designed to get you to do the talking. They'll note your strategies without mentioning them, keep the stakes at a level they can control, and change up their pace of play just to get you stumbling. You have to do this -- play their game, be it dominoes or cribbage or chess. They may have been playing for decades. You take a beating as a means of absorbing the lessons they've learned without taking a lesson. But don't be afraid to take them down. They can handle it.
28. Play go fish with a kid.
You don't crush kids. You talk their ear off, make an event out of it, tell them stories about when you were a kid this or in Vegas that. You have to play their game, too, even though they may have been playing only for weeks. Observe. Teach them without once offering a lesson. And don't be afraid to win. They can handle it.
29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped.
Sometimes the laws of physics aren't laws at all. Read The Quantum World: Quantum Physics for Everyone, by Kenneth W. Ford.
30. Feign interest. Good place to start: quantum physics.
31. Make a bed.
32. Describe a glass of wine in one sentence without using the terms nutty, fruity, oaky, finish, or kick. I once stood in a wine store in West Hollywood where the owner described a pinot noir he favored as "a night walk through a wet garden." I bought it. I went to my hotel and drank it by myself, looking at the flickering city with my feet on the windowsill. I don't know which was more right, the wine or the vision that he placed in my head. Point is, it was right.
Leif Parsons
33. Hit a jump shot in pool. It's not something you use a lot, but when you hit a jump shot, it marks you as a player and briefly impresses women. Make the angle of your cue steeper, aim for the bottommost fraction of the ball, and drive the cue smoothly six inches past the contact point, making steady, downward contact with the felt.
34. Dress a wound. First, stop the bleeding. Apply pressure using a gauze pad. Stay with the pressure. If you can't stop the bleeding, forget the next step, just get to a hospital. Once the bleeding stops, clean the wound. Use water or saline solution; a little soap is good, too. If you can't get the wound clean, then forget the next step, just get to a hospital. Finally, dress the wound. For a laceration, push the edges together and apply a butterfly bandage. For avulsions, where the skin is punctured and pulled back like a trapdoor, push the skin back and use a butterfly. Slather the area in antibacterial ointment. Cover the wound with a gauze pad taped into place. Change that dressing every 12 hours, checking carefully for signs of infection. Better yet, get to a hospital.
Leif Parsons
35. Jump-start a car (without any drama). Change a flat tire (safely). Change the oil (once).
36. Make three different bets at a craps table. Play the smallest and most poorly labeled areas, the bets where it's visually evident the casino doesn't want you to go. Simply play the pass line; once the point is set, play full odds (this is the only really good bet on the table); and when you want a little more action, tell the crew you want to lay the 4 and the 10 for the minimum bet.
37. Shuffle a deck of cards.
I play cards with guys who can't shuffle, and they lose. Always.
38. Tell a joke. Here's one:
Two guys are walking down a dark alley when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then, one guy turns to the other, hands him a bill, and says, "Hey, here's that $20 I owe you."
39. Know when to split his cards in blackjack.
Aces. Eights. Always.
40. Speak to an eight-year-old so he will hear. Use his first name. Don't use baby talk. Don't crank up your energy to match his. Ask questions and wait for answers. Follow up. Don't pretend to be interested in Webkinz or Power Rangers or whatever. He's as bored with that shit as you are. Concentrate instead on seeing the child as a person of his own.
41. Speak to a waiter so he will hear.
You don't own the restaurant, so don't act like it. You own the transaction. So don't speak into the menu. Lift your chin. Make eye contact. All restaurants have secrets -- let it be known that you expect to see some of them.
42. Talk to a dog so it will hear.
Go ahead, use baby talk.
43. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help. Just turn off the damned main.
44. Ask for help.
Guys who refuse to ask for help are the most cursed men of all. The stubborn, the self-possessed, and the distant. The hell with them.
45. Break another man's grip on his wrist. Rotate your arm rapidly in the grip, toward the other guy's thumb.
46. Tell a woman's dress size.
47. Recite one poem from memory. Here you go:
WHEN YOU ARE OLD
When you are old and gray and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
--William Butler Yeats
48. Remove a stain. Blot. Always blot.
49. Say no.
50. Fry an egg sunny-side up. Cook until the white appears solid...and no longer.
Leif Parsons
51. Build a campfire.
There are three components:
1. The tinder -- bone-dry, snappable twigs, about as long as your hand. You need two complete handfuls. Try birch bark; it burns long and hot.
2. The kindling -- thick as your thumb, long as your forearm, breakable with two hands. You need two armfuls.
3. Fuel wood -- anything thick and long enough that it can't be broken by hand. It's okay if it's slightly damp. You need a knee-high stack.
Step 1: Light the tinder, turning the pile gently to get air underneath it.
Step 2: Feed the kindling into the emergent fire with some pace.
Step 3: Lay on the fuel wood. Pyramid, the log cabin, whatever -- the idea is to create some kind of structure so that plenty of air gets to the fire.
52. Step into a job no one wants to do. When I was 13, my dad called me into his office at the large urban mall he ran. He was on the phone. What followed was a fairly banal 15-minute conversation, which involved the collection of rent from a store. On and on, droning about store hours and lighting problems. I kept raising my eyebrows, pretending to stand up, and my dad kept waving me down. I could hear only his end, garrulous and unrelenting. He rolled his eyes as the excuses kept coming. His assertions were simple and to the point, like a drumbeat. He wanted the rent. He wanted the store to stay open when the mall was open. Then suddenly, having given the job the time it deserved, he put it to an end. "So if I see your gate down next Sunday afternoon, I'm going to get a drill and stick a goddamn bolt in it and lock you down for the next week, right?" When he hung up, rent collected, he took a deep breath. "I've been dreading that call," he said. "Once a week you gotta try something you never would do if you had the choice. Otherwise, why are you here?" So he gave me that. And this...
53. Sometimes, kick some ass.
54. Break up a fight. Work in pairs if possible. Don't get between people initially. Use the back of the collar, pull and urge the person downward. If you can't get him down, work for distance.
55. Point to the north at any time.
If you have a watch, you can point the hour hand at the sun. Then find the point directly between the hour hand and the 12. That's south. The opposite direction is, of course, north.
56. Create a play-list in which ten seemingly random songs provide a secret message to one person.
57. Explain what a light-year is. It's the measure of the distance that light travels over 365.25 days.
58. Avoid boredom. You have enough to eat. You can move. This must be acknowledged as a kind of freedom. You don't always have to buy things, put things in your mouth, or be delighted.
59. Write a thank-you note.
Make a habit of it. Follow a simple formula like this one: First line is a thesis statement. The second line is evidentiary. The third is a kind of assertion. Close on an uptick.
Thanks for having me over to watch game six. Even though they won, it's clear the Red Sox are a soulless, overmarketed contrivance of Fox TV. Still, I'm awfully happy you have that huge high-def television. Next time, I really will bring beer. Yours,
60. Be brand loyal to at least one product. It tells a lot about who you are and where you came from. Me? I like Hellman's mayonnaise and Genesee beer, which makes me the fleshy, stubbornly upstate ne'er-do-well that I will always be.
61. Cook bacon.
Lay out the bacon on a rack on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes.
Leif Parsons
62. Hold a baby.
Newborns should be wrapped tightly and held against the chest. They like tight spaces (consider their previous circumstances) and rhythmic movements, so hold them snug, tuck them in the crook of your elbow or against the skin of your neck. Rock your hips like you're bored, barely listening to the music at the edge of a wedding reception. No one has to notice except the baby. Don't breathe all over them.
63. Deliver a eulogy. Take the job seriously. It matters. Speak first to the family, then to the outside world. Write it down. Avoid similes. Don't read poetry. Be funny.
64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch. When I was a kid, because I'm Italian and because the Irish guys in my neighborhood were relentless with the beatings on St. Patrick's Day, I loved the very idea of Christopher Columbus. I loved the fact that Irish kids worshipped some gnome who drove all the rats out of Ireland or whatever, whereas my hero was an explorer. Man, I drank the Kool-Aid on that guy. Of course, I later learned that he was a hand-chopping, land-stealing egotist who sold out an entire hemisphere to European avarice. So I left Columbus behind. Your understanding of your heroes must evolve. See Roger Clemens. See Bill Belichick.
65-67. Throw a baseball over-hand with some snap. Throw a football with a tight spiral. Shoot a 12-foot jump shot reliably.
If you can't, play more ball.
68. Find his way out of the woods if lost. Note your landmarks -- mountains, power lines, the sound of a highway. Look for the sun: It sits in the south; it moves west. Gauge your direction every few minutes. If you're completely stuck, look for a small creek and follow it downstream. Water flows toward larger bodies of water, where people live.
69. Tie a knot.
Square knot: left rope over right rope, turn under. Then right rope over left rope. Tuck under. Pull. Or as my pack leader, Dave Kenyon, told me in a Boy Scouts meeting: "Left over right, right over left. What's so fucking hard about that?"
70. Shake hands. Steady, firm, pump, let go. Use the time to make eye contact, since that's where the social contract begins.
Leif Parsons
71. Iron a shirt. My uncle Tony the tailor once told me of ironing: Start rough, end gently.
72. Stock an emergency bag for the car.
Blanket. Heavy flashlight. Hand warmers. Six bottles of water. Six packs of beef jerky. Atlas. Reflectors. Gloves. Socks. Bandages. Neosporin. Inhaler. Benadryl. Motrin. Hard candy. Telescoping magnet. Screwdriver. Channel-locks. Crescent wrench. Ski hat. Bandanna.
73. Caress a woman's neck. Back of your fingers, in a slow fan.
74. Know some birds. If you can't pay attention to a bird, then you can't learn from detail, you aren't likely to appreciate the beauty of evolution, and you don't have a clue how birdlike your own habits may be. You've been looking at them blindly for years now. Get a guide.
75. Negotiate a better price. Be informed. Know the price of competitors. In a big store, look for a manager. Don't be an asshole. Use one phrase as your mantra, like "I need a little help with this one." Repeat it, as an invitation to him. Don't beg. Ever. Offer something: your loyalty, your next purchase, even your friendship, and, with the deal done, your gratitude.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Duc en altum
Our economy we are told is on the brink of getting even worse. We believe this because we are spending so much on the war, people are foreclosing on their homes like never before, banks are writing off huge losses, pundits are saying they've never seen it this bad, gas prices are approaching $4, the Fed has started to cut rates again, consumer confidence is very low, we see lazy spoiled kids graduating from high school and college and ask This is the future of America?
Yet unemployment is fairly steady, some big companies are still posting earnings growth. My own business pipeline has never been fuller.
Should I fold my business and take a big-paying, safe corporate job?
My inclination is to ride out this storm, and globalize when others are running scared.
Yet unemployment is fairly steady, some big companies are still posting earnings growth. My own business pipeline has never been fuller.
Should I fold my business and take a big-paying, safe corporate job?
My inclination is to ride out this storm, and globalize when others are running scared.
A soaring global economy
This is a great article about how America has succeeded in leading countries to adopt its ideas of free markets and ideas, resulting in an unprecedented rise of peace and prosperity over the last two generations. It's a world we shouldn't be afraid of, because we made it. This is one of the best articles I've read in years.
http://www.newsweek.com/id/135380/page/1
http://www.newsweek.com/id/135380/page/1
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