Saturday, March 22, 2008

I want what I don't do

We watched the Passion of the Christ last night, probably for the sixth time since it came out. I want that. I want the cross. I want the pain. It's the only time I am fulfilled, and feel useful.

So why don't I follow through? Why do hours go by, and I haven't even spoken to our Lord, or his mother and friends, or my guardian angel? I want it so much but I still live like a pagan.

4 comments:

Anthony Biese said...

I know how you feel. I know how you feel about the Passion of the Christ, wanting the cross and the pain, forgetting our Lord and living like a pagan. I think that is pretty normal for one who wants to follow Christ. However, we are made for so much more, and that is why we want it. It is not a false hope, this hope for holiness. Through daily perseverance, much sweat and tears, and complete abandonment into Jesus' hands, it is possible and attainable.
You may find what I wrote on this topic tonight interesting at http://willyoumarryme--god.blogspot.com/2008/03/universal-call-mystical-marriage.html.

FlyDad said...

I like your entry today -- and I'm going to call you Professor, because that is what you are. I'll tell you though -- I've never connected with the writings of the mystics. Their verbiage and their concepts are so lofty and flowery. I find daily life -- the prayer in the street -- to be more lowly and plain. And it's there, in the midst of working on a deadline, where I lose sight of our Lord.

Anthony Biese said...

My wife read your blog this morning about NFP and very much appreciated your thoughts, especially from a man's perspective. She thought it raised some good points and was very well written. I didn't get to read it before you removed it; NFP is good and it is certainly better than the culture of death and the contraceptive mentality. For many people, however, I think there is a better way.

FlyDad said...

Agreed. Just like only Sunday Mass is required, but daily Mass is the ideal, only NFP is required to space births, but the ideal in almost all cases is total trust.

I say almost all because there are always situations where a pause in getting pregnant is more virtuous than a reckless approach to faith. And, to be able to say about each child that he was specifically willed into existence, and not a result of blind passion, is an attitude the NFP helps. What magic to be able to pinpoint the day of conception if you were charting.

God in his providence gave us NFP at this moment in history.