5 is enough

That's what the 40ish Lutheran father of a daughter at my daughter's extracurricular activity told me. His oldest was 9, and he said that he'd surely reached the limits of his incompetence in being able to give them all time.

Bullshit. What a wuss.

Handyman

We got our handyman. What a huge relief. At first I was thinking I was just avoiding the mortification of doing things I'm not good at or find little joy in. But now that he's been over, it's so simple. He does good work. He makes my wife's home better than I could make it. This is good.

Now, if only I could hire someone to routinely remind me to romance my wife.

Mercy > justice

One of our girls is so hard on herself. When she does something wrong, like bomb a test, she goes into a shell and won't communicate. This happened again last night.

After having a big argument with the missus about it, I sat down by her and just started talking. She didn't respond for like 20 minutes, but finally, slowly, started coming out of her shell.

It's so hard not being tyrannical.

Interview

I just interviewed for a huge corporate position, all day. I know I have the skills and ability for the job, and I think they know that, but I don't know if I conveyed an executive presence. A big decision if I get this: don't make it home for dinner for 6 months, or give up a rare opportunity?

I was at this point before, and a friend said: but how rare with these opportunities be for you man? They will always be there.

The downside is, I forgot about the presence of God all day, I was so wrapped up in myself.

Gift of imagination

Some people have photographic memory. Some people can create and retain images in their mind's eye. Along with this gift comes a burden: of being barraged with images and creations throughout the waking day, even through sleep.

In the spiritual life, this is a plus and a minus. A plus, because at Mass it is no problem to walk down the apparently vacant center aisle pushing oneself through the crowd of guardian angels toward calvary, where the priest-Christ, encircled by Mary and John and Mary Magdalen, raises up the bread-God, where the angel takes it from his hands to the altar in heaven.

It is a minus because random images assault the workday, intrude upon prayer, divert and tempt and scatter, relentlessly.

The remedy? As one wise man said, who I think knew from experience, you can't suppress this. You can only channel. The best defense is a good offense: feed the furnance with a regular dose of images of our victory.

Temperance

Intemperance is probably the predominant national fault of America. And our family is no exception. So, we've made Temperance the battle cry for 2008. We just had a talk about it over lunch today after Mass. Every night at rosary, if I can remember, we'll do a quick review.

Gift of numbers

None of our kids has the gift of numbers. Some of them do just fine in math, but the others struggle over every assignment. None of them can rattle off answers right upon seeing the question. None of them zealously attempts the extra credit problems, or takes the current lesson and experiments with new or advanced applications that aren't included in the lesson. There just isn't the curiosity, passion, zeal, or agility with numbers.

For me it's a taste of death. It's as if they will never see life as I've seen it, never explore the horizons I've been to, never enter certain doors, or contemplate some of the mysteries this side of paradise.

Why not? I ask that every time I find myself explaining a mind-numbingly basic concept over and over to a child who seems incapable of retaining the core building blocks she's going to need just to get by. I wonder if it's because she's hard-wired as a girl. I wonder if she's been failed by her teachers who only have Education degrees. I wonder if I've dropped the ball.

All of these are probably true. But had they the gift, the gift would have triumphed over any of these obstacles. None of them have the gift. Why Lord did you pass over this house?

Gift of tongues

Something prevalent in the early Church that is virtually absent in today's Church is the gift of tongues. Why is that? Do we have less faith? Or, is this gift no longer needed to impress the faithless?

Lashing out when wounded

Many fallen-away Catholics I think are mistaken to be liberal Catholics, because of the doctrines they oppose. But the two men I met recently would be best described as wounded men who are lashing out at anyone who would question or challenge their divorces, or get them to face the damage they've caused, as a first step toward healing.

The one, call him David, was raised by "devout" Catholic parents, but he fell away from the practice of the faith, married, had kids, divorced, and remarried. Somewhere in there he hit bottom, realized he needed faith, and came back through the fundamentalist door. Now it is almost impossible to have a reasoned discussion with him about faith. The elephant in the room is his divorce.

For the other one, call him Thomas, it was the other way around. Raised by shall we say flexible parents on the West Coast, he never really absorbed the faith. He married, had kids, and his wife left him for another man. They divorced, and now he has a live-in girlfriend. Now he thinks the Church is all about politics and capitalism.

Talking faith just yet with these men doesn't seem to be the way. Being their friends does.

A new convert -- and NFP-only physician

To be a progressive who doesn't use birth control, only natural family planning, is to be an oddity both among liberals and conservatives. Our liberal friends assume everyone is on birth control and doesn't have a problem with it. Our friends in NFP circles assume everyone is conservative. And so there we are.

My wife just returned from a long road trip with a physician and mother of four who is about to be confirmed in the Church. She's read all the speeches Pope Benedict gave on his recent trip to our country, and she's absolutely on fire. She's learning NFP for herself, and will soon convert her practice to NFP-only.

An earthquake just happened in our little corner of the world.

From Byzantium to Rome

After spending 15 hours in a room with this Orthodox husband and father, working on a project together, all pretenses had waned. He had complained about a Catholic neighbor, and this was the opening I'd prayed for on the plane the day before.

He asked me what being Catholic was all about. I really couldn't think of anything sophisticated. I said it was about family. About staying married. About having lots of kids. But most of all it was about serving - at home, at work, in society.

He was surprised. Really? Do the priests really talk about that? I said many of them do, but not all.

Have to follow up with this man.

Prayer and work

I think many of us aren't happy with our prayer lives because we try to fit breaks of prayer into the cracks of our workday. And then, we get to the end of the day, and we went hours without talking to God.

I had a good friend challenge me: he said I should fit my work into the cracks of my prayer day. Start with the times of prayer, then fit work and family around that.

It may not be too liberal to say this, but the Catholic husband's priorities have to be God > wife > children > other souls > work, the latter of which is merely a means to all the previous.

Gays and the Eucharist

Last summer when I was at a gay Catholic conference, and attendees were commiserating about how they were prodigal sons not welcome at the table, and couldn't help but ask the question that was the elephant in the room: why stay Catholic?

Man after man said the same thing: the Eucharist. The Episcopals don't have it, the Lutherans don't, none of the liberal denominations even pretend to have it.

My conservative friends might be quick to eject the gays from the assembly, seeing them as imposters, deviants, and seditionists. But I have to say what I saw was sincerity.

Temples in Eden, Jerusalem, tabernacles, and bodies (Hahn)

Still praying how I should respond to the Protestant about his denial of John:6 being literal.

Discussion with former Catholic

During a private meeting with a new business client, I sensed an opening and dove the discussion into matters of faith. Sometimes you can just "tell" you are talking to a man of faith.

Anyhow, he gave me a list of topics he believes where the Church is inconsistent with the Bible. They're all the usual suspects -- Mary, apostolic succession, confession, grace, justification -- but at a much higher level of sophistication than what you normally see.

I'm not sure where to begin. Well yes, I am -- in front of the tabernacle.

Protestant convert medley

Miss South Carolina on U.S. Americans

Philippine Catholic prisoners support their bishop